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Not-Quite News

Capitol Rioter Sentenced After Using Rare Stupidity Defense; Others May Follow Suit

Stilton Fenning -
WASHINGTON, DC -- Kevin Seefried was sentenced yesterday after being convicted of taking part in the January 6, 2021 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol...
Not-Quite News

Chinese Spy Balloon Shootdown Goes Awry Over U.S. East Coast; Craft Much Larger Than Initially Thought

Jim Bob Piwnicki -
LAKEHURST, NJ -- After tracking an apparent Chinese spy balloon on its slow journey across American airspace, the Air Force yesterday attempted to shoot...
Not-Quite News

Russians Invade Thousand Islands in Dressing Flap; French Next?

Stilton Fenning -
WELLESLEY ISLAND, NY -- The Russian navy, in a bold move certain to torpedo hopes for any sort of detente between Vladimir Putin and...
Not-Quite News

NYC mayor: ‘No Room Here’ for Immigrants – 8.4 Million Residents Have to Leave

Jim Bob Piwnicki -
EL PASO, TX -- While inspecting the United States-Mexico border today, New York City mayor Eric Adams explained that "there is no room" in...
Not-Quite News

Biden White House: Ban Toasters, Vacuum Cleaners and Can Openers, too.

Stilton Fenning -
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Biden elaborated today on the rumored ban of gas stoves by proposing bans on dozens of other home appliances deemed...
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